“RECALCULATING…in .2 miles turn left..” It tends to mean I’ve missed my turn – which has happened a few times since moving to a new city. But sometimes, my GPS is wrong. Well, not wrong. It’s just that I decided to go my way, to take a route that I know is shorter. But when I do this, I continuously hear “RECALCULATING…”
In life, I know that my God is the Source of all direction and strategy, every plan B, C,….Z that I may need to be an effective parent. I am glad, even relieved, that He has the big master plan to lead each of our children through their character development for them to fulfill the purposes He has for them. The catch is, He wants to use me (and you) to do it.
This means that we are the voice, the messenger, to our children – the one they hear and see and know as directing them. Sometimes, I have felt like a human GPS – that has to keep recalculating! I don’t mean giving step by step, block by block directions to our kids. I mean teaching and training them in general life themes like obedience, respect, being responsible, and getting along with others.
Some of my RECALCULATING THOUGHTS go like this: “OK, that consequence didn’t work; That conversation doesn’t seem to have made a difference; That wasn’t the approach to take; He didn’t receive my words AT ALL the way that I intended; That worked for the other 2 kids, but it’s obviously not effective with this one; I think I need to…; I think I need to stop…; I’m going to call…. and see what she does …”
In other words, I teach and train the standard, the direction that my child needs to take, but she just. won’t. follow. my. instructions. So, as she makes her decision, here I go again… recalculating. I don’t know about you, but over the years I’ve gotten to use my “RECALCULATING” voice quite a bit! Unfortunately, my voice has often not remained consistently polite – like the GPS, a mechanical device. I’VE GOT FEELINGS. My heart is affected by my children’s choices.
I get frustrated. If they would respond to my first approach, think of the things we could do in a day! There would be less talks, less consequences(for them to walk through and for me to come up with), less wasted time. We could enjoy each other more!
I get discouraged. Why don’t they want to at least try to follow my direction? Surely, they’ve had enough experiences with me to see that I have their best interests at heart.
I get hurt. Do they love me, really? Don’t they want to please me, just a little bit?
So, how’s your heart doing?
It’s important that we tell God these things. Too often we just press on, not taking care of ourselves by going to God, asking Him to attend our heart. The Psalmist reminds us,
“Cast your burden on the LORD and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55.22) We acknowledge our need for healing, that we aren’t superwoman, as we go to Him: “Lord, I give you my frustration about…, my discouragement about …, my hurt … Please heal me. Please help me…”
Dear Lord, You’re the Leader. Help me to follow – so that I will lead in the way – that my children will follow. Amen.
Teresa deBorde Glenn says
Thanks for your comment, Jody, and thank you for sharing with your daughters!
What a great illustration! Since my GPS is ‘recalculating’ all the time, I’ll be reflecting on this truth often while I’m driving. My daughters will appreciate this, too.
Teresa deBorde Glenn says
I am sorry for the pain you have. I pray that your son will come to realize how much you value and treasure his expressions of love. I am glad that you know and are experiencing the true Source of comfort.
You are so on target it is actually frightening. This morning I am disappointed and sad because my son has not chosen to make a phone call to learn if I am feeling o.k. My feelings are hurt. But our ever faithful Lord has been with me.
I know He is the faithful one who is always with us to comfort and heal our wounds, teach us, change our direction, wipe our tears.
Thank you for reinforcing His presence in our lives.