This time last year our oldest son moved out, heading to medical school. As we loaded the U-Haul and followed him down the highway, my mind kept returning to, “He’s really moving this time…” I was excited for him, yet I knew this was a significant season marker for me, too. More than the obvious.
What I knew in my mind needed to flow to my momma’s heart – so I could see who he was becoming.
See him the way God wants me to see him.
So I can be in relationship with him the way God wants me to be – because it will be the best way – for him, for me, for our relationship.
Still and always Mom, but as God wants me to be – not as I think and not as this culture thinks.
This weekend I “get” to do this again.
Our next son is moving out, also to another city. All week he’s been going through years of mementos, as he decides what to keep and what to discard. Every time I wander into his room, an item grabs my eye and my mind conjures the memory it represents and what he looked like at that age. His music blares; sometimes I ask him to turn it down, but more often I think of how quiet our home will be next week… We’ll say good-bye, I’ll cry, grab one more hug, and watch him walk into the next season of his future.
Endless hours in the yard and in our home … sharing the ordinary.
Listening in or watching as their imaginations run wild. Boundless energy. Where does it come from?!
Soccer, basketball, football, tennis …. cheering for them whether they played 2 minutes or the entire game.
Awards ceremonies – Watching and waiting 2 hours for him to walk across that stage … or waiting 2 hours knowing he won’t walk across, but we’re there because he is there.
Coming home from work, exhausted, praying for God’s grace and energy to engage and be present to them because they matter so much more than the office I just left.
Trying to conquer my chores in the midst of countless interruptions.
… Today, I love to hear their voices interrupt the quiet.
Playing like bear cubs … brawling like, well, like brothers. NOW I can see it as iron sharpening iron – theirs and mine!
Building – when we don’t realize we’re building.
Back then I believed it all was worth it. Now I KNOW it was. Still is.
Thank You for the opportunities that you give us in this present season. Help us follow You into the future of our relationship with each of our children. Help us see each of them the way that You want us to see. Amen.”